I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
