Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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