i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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