Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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