While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
