We're facebook friends in real life
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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