found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
