Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
