I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize