You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
