I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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