my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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