CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
