Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
