1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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