3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
