Where did you get a picture of my penis
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
