He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
