things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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