this just has baby written all over it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
and eventually we just all took our pants off
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
