i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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