im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize