im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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