This girl is more easily done than said...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
