So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
