I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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