I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
