Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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