All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
