i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Send help, water and tortillas.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
