Sponge bath it is.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
