New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
