Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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