worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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