I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
