I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
