i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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