people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize