Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
