I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
