trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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