I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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