I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
