Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
