It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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