We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
