I heard we made out
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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