3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
