Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
