I'm so fucking centered right now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
