i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
last night I used snow as a chaser
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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