you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
