I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
