ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
