in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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