You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize