So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
