In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
