I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
