Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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