I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
